Rain, Rain, Rain.

Weird rain is a bizarre and still largely unexplained phenomena periodically reported from all corners of the globe. In Lincolnshire a suspicion is growing that the performance of a ‘Ritual Rain Song’ is causing problems for Lincolnshire Farmers.  A correlation has been drawn to the dates and times this song has been performed by a local singing group, and localised rainfall.

A met office forecaster said: “In an otherwise clear sky in the Lincolnshire Wolds, a woman and her husband watched as a small dark cloud formed in the sky. When it was overhead, the cloud released its contents”.

Farmer Dick Scrumshore of Louth said,

“Dubbut looök at the waäste: theer warn’t not feeäd for a cow; Nowt at all but bracken an’ fuzz, an’ looök at it now. Warnt worth nowt a haäcre, an’ now theer ’s lots o’ feeäd, Fourscoor yows upon it an’ some on it down i’ seeäd”.

Not many people understood this though.

Asked to comment, the leader of the singing group ‘Dr. Softs’ said “Rain is important to the locals who depend on it to keep things lush”.  The group’s ‘Caller’ who initiates the song, a local flower grower, simply smiled!

Louth Nuzhound June 2017

(with apologies to Alfred Lord Tennyson)